Sunday, January 23, 2011

A warning shot

classic form:
"...with a side of antihistamines, please."
"Can I get that with 1200 sides of clover?"
"I'm sorry, you'll have to speak louder."

"These bees are annoying me, as is your unibrow."
"I am in extreme pain."

alternative form:
"You know when you can't decide between the safe option you've had before, or something new and exciting that you might not like at all? And on top of that, there's all these bees stinging you? Yeah, that's the worst."

long form:
"I came here from my place of work. Wait, wait, guess what it is. I didn't have time to get rid of all these bees, let alone go home and change. But now I really wish I had, what with the horror of the continual stinging. They give you these gloves and glasses, after all, but really what I need is some protection in the neck/upper chest area, as you can see. I should stop stuffing flowers down my shirt before I head to the hive! Anyhoo, this has been a good talk and all, but do you have anything that might alleviate the terrible pain I'm currently experiencing? Also, stop writing down everything I'm saying; it's quite creepy."

1 comment:

  1. I once again really liked one of the official selections for this one -- something like, "...and some flowers for the table."